The real secret to how I got unstuck - and it wasn’t working with a coach!
Updated: Sep 23, 2019
If you’ve read the About Me section or have been following me on Instagram, you will know a bit about how stuck I was just a few years ago.
I worked in a field I did truly enjoy and care about - mental health promotion. But despite that I felt trapped. Working full-time was frustrating - I didn’t feel like my time was my own, like my life was my own. In my role, I knew I had more to offer and hated wasting my potential (but I couldn't figure out what to do to change that). I wasn’t fulfilled 5 days out of 7 and it was killing my spirit.
In the meantime I was also a parent with a partner who worked more than full-time hours. Life was as it is for many families but to me, it felt hard. Too busy. Too full of stress. Too full of have-tos and boring everyday things. Was this really all there was to life?
Then I had two failed pregnancies in a row that my body wouldn’t miscarry. These are called 'missed miscarriages' when your body continues to hang on to an embryo that isn’t living. With both pregnancies, before I could have the D and C operation to end the pregnancies, my body finally miscarried but with severe hemorraging. I ended up in the ER both times for emercency operations, a blood transfusion in one case and some serious anemia afterwards with both.
The mental and physical recovery was long. I didn’t want to be at work that’s for sure. I knew something needed to change to feel mentally and physically healthy but I couldn't figure out what. That summer, I completely burnt out. As in, my brain stopped working. I couldn't think straight. I couldn't process anything. I couldn't make decisions, I couldn't plan, I was done. I could just barely manage to get through the day taking care of myself. The slightest bit of stress would bring me to tears. The naturopathic doctor I saw told me I had adrenal fatigue - caused from my body being under too much stress for too long. If you know anything about adrenal fatigue, you know that it's no fun. I still had to go to work and I was hard on myself. Instead of taking the break my brain and body were trying to tell me I needed, I told myself it would be lazy if I did. I had already taken so much sick time away from work. I needed to show I was a good employee. Eventually I got pregnant again (this time with a healthy embryo that grew into my now 1 year old son) and got the space, care and time I needed to get clear headed. I underwent Professional Coach training and decided to try my hand at running my own business. It was the best way I could think to have the lifestyle I wanted, be my own boss, and use all of my strengths and passions. I finally got unstuck. And what pushed me to do it was burnout and the break I took as a result of that. You don't have to burnout to get the time you need (from a sick leave) to figure out how to change your life. I had no idea coaching existed to help with the kind of situation I was in at the time. If I had, I would've jumped at the chance. I knew therapy could help with the grief I had from the miscarriages but I was pretty sure it wouldn't figure out a magic solution to how to feel more fulfilled in my life overall. That's what my coaching is all about. Before you get to burnout from feeling so rundown and unfulfilled by a life that is overrun with responsbilities and other things that drag you down rather than lift you up, consider working with a coach.
You can start with my Get Unstuck worksheet. It will help you the direction you need to start down a new path. And if you're not quite sure how to actually make a change based on what you find from the worksheet, book a free1:1 coaching session where we will talk about exactly what to do to get started.
You can do this, don't wait for burnout.