What you should really know about finding fulfillment
Updated: Sep 23, 2019
There’s this new-ish idea (not new at all really, just never been all that popular - until now?) that everyone should just be themselves. You be you, I’ll be me, and with the gifts we each have and bring to the world, we can all live in harmony.
Problem is, we forget how to be ourselves. We forget who we even are.
We lose sight of the gifts and natural talents that we have because it's not cool to brag and it’s unattractive to stand out. And suddenly, we are too embarrassed to stand on our own two feet in who we are. Worried it’s not enough. Worried about being judged.
But here's the thing. Who you truly are is what you’re meant to be doing with your life. So if you’re looking for your life purpose, first step is to find yourself.
Without taking into account your education or experience, you have natural talents and abilities that you enjoy doing and sharing with others. To help you figure these out, ask yourself (and don't overanalyze!):
What did you love to do as a child?
As a child, what were you good at?
What do people tell you you’re so good at now? (whether or not you believe you are)
What do you enjoy doing so much that you get lost in a state of flow?
I can bet with each one of your answers you’ve convinced yourself that you are nothing special. “Lots of people can do that” you might say. Or “but I don’t have specialized training in that”.
You my friend, are falling prey to the myth that to be unique you have to be something that’s never been thought of or done before. That you have to be extra-ordinary.
I hope I’m not the first person to reassure you that there are no new ideas anymore. But anything and everything is unique when it is filtered through your unique personality. There is only one you in the world therefore anything you do is going be unique. Guaranteed.
And don’t jump the gun by worrying about how you’ll stand out in an oversaturated world even if you were to find and pursue your passion as a career. The idea that success must be guaranteed in order for you to even start prematurely sabotages the process of uncovering your natural gifts AND is futile anyway when you haven’t done deeper work about what success even means to you.
When I went through these questions on my path to becoming a life coach, my answers looked like this:
What do people come to you for? To chat, to relate to, to have fun
What do people tell you you're so good at? Connecting and understand others, giving advice and guidance.
What do you enjoy doing so much that you get lost in a state of flow? Writing, thinking, brainstorming, being creative, thinking about growth and change and psychology.
But my thoughts went a little something like this:
Everybody and their mother is good at connecting and relating to others. There's no way I'm unique in that.
I know I won't enjoy being a therapist. I wrote that idea off years ago.
How do I combine connecting with others with being creative? No obvious answers. I give up.
But, when I turned down my inner critic and started looking outside the box, I came across professional coaching. It was something I would never have taken seriously before. If I had continued to write it off as something that wasn’t for me, that I wouldn’t be good at, that was dumb, then I would never have become a coach.
As soon as I started to consider what my natural gifts could turn into, instead of immediately writing them off as mundane and average, I started thinking outside the box.
So what are your gifts? Download the Find Your Calling worksheet for more prompts to help you identify them.