Considering a Job Change? Do these 2 things first.
If you’re stuck in your job, you’re probably feeling impatient and desperate, looking for the exact steps to take to get out of the job you’re in and into a new one you don’t hate.
But ideally, you're looking to find your true purpose and the right path for you, not just the next path for you. You want to find the right thing, not just the next thing right?
Simply looking for the next path will lead you right back to where you started - stuck (read more on that here).
In order to find the right thing, as much as you may be feeling impatient, you have to slow down and do these two things first:
Take time for yourself.
Get into some flow.
We're programmed to think that solutions can be found if we only look hard enough, do the right research and follow the right steps.
But in order to find the right path for you, we have to adjust your approach.
Finding the right path for you isn’t about going out and finding it. It’s not about what you can do to fix things.
It’s about uncovering the right path for you. Uncovering YOU.
And anytime a client skips these first two steps, they end up going around in circles and don't make any progress. Trust me, I've seen it happen a few times. Clients are near burn out and convinced that if they just do this one next thing, they'll find the answer.
Unfortunately, it's not that simple. But it IS fun.
To start uncovering who you are and what the next right move for you is in your career, you absolutely:
1. Need to spend time with yourself!
This goes way beyond the traditional idea of self-care bubble baths. This is about slowing down your pace of life and your experience of life. It’s about reconnecting with who you are and how you move most naturally through life.
With kids, with a full-time job, with other priorities, obligations and commitments, there is often very little time left over for YOU.
But don’t let your busy schedule be your excuse as to why you don’t have time to reconnect with who you really are (which, if you need a reminder, consists of a mix between your values, your passions and your strengths. Click here for more).
This time for yourself has to be made a priority. You can’t leave it to squeeze into your free time - because we know how little of that there really is.
When you leave this time to the last minute and it falls down to the bottom on the list of priorities, then you become the bottom on the list of priorities.
You have to prioritize yourself if you want to get unstuck.
What do you do with this YOU time? The 5Rs to Restart suggests:
And no, these are not synonyms. There are subtle yet important differences and the progress linearly. For example, you can’t rejuvenate your energy if you haven’t first replenished what you’ve drained and you can’t replenish what you’ve drained if you haven't first retreated from what’s draining you and taken a rest.
Check out this blog post for more
Start feeling some flow!
In my Get Unstuck and Find your Purpose worksheet, step 2 is to Engage in Your Passions. In the videos you'll get access to once you download the worksheet, I talk about why engaging in your passions is important.
Here is some more info to convince you that this is worthwhile and necessary:
Researchers in positive psychology, like Professor Barbara Fredrickson at the University of North Carolina have found that positive emotions like joy, inspiration, amusement all help to improve our performance. When our mindsets and moods are positive, we are more creative, motivated and productive.
Positive emotions don’t just feel good, they’re super useful.
And just wishing and trying to feel good doesn’t always work. Maybe you’ve had a hard week, struggling through something, feeling down. Convincing yourself to just ‘perk up!’ or feel better is easier said than done.
Except for if you engage in a passion that brings you flow.
Flow, explored first by Csikszentmihalyi in the field of positive psychology, brings you to a mindset where you can access intuition, a higher level of consciousness, crazy productivity and tons of other great things.
Who wouldn’t want that?
But the thing is, most of us don’t prioritize flow. We don’t intentionally make time for things that give us flow and we don’t spend time recognizing the things we already do in our day-to-day lives that get us there, meaning we’re missing opportunities to tap into what this feeling can bring us.
Whether you protect time in your schedule to engage in a passion or pay more attention to the things you already do that get you in a state of flow, it’s important to leverage those good feelings - use that flow state of mind to brainstorm possibilities for your future or just soak them up - savouring positive emotions also has great benefits because it makes the good feelings last longer.
I shouldn’t need to convince people to do things that make them happy but I know our lives make it hard.
Next time you’re feeling in a funk and need a boost, are looking for some inspiration to get unstuck, try something as simple as losing yourself in a good song. Go for a drive and turn up the music! (I personally have been loving the new Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani song ... yes ... I'm a country fan, don't hold it against me).
Once you’ve got these 2 steps covered, then you can start on the steps I take my clients through on our more comprehensive journey to getting unstuck.
This includes the Get Unstuck/Find Your Purpose worksheet which incorporates flow but also involves aligning your life to your values and using your strengths. Sign up for the worksheet here and get the videos to help you put all 3 elements of the formula to getting unstuck together.
Then, try this fun exercise I have my clients do: to write down your top values, passions and strengths on post-its. Use a different colour for each category. Then mix and match and see what kinds of interesting combinations pop up for you.
Just know that your inner critic, limiting beliefs and fears will try to thrwart your brainstorming. When that happens, jump on a call with me or stay tuned for the next blog post on how to turn down the volume on your inner critic’s voice.
Can’t wait to see what doors open for you once you’ve completed these first 2 steps!